SAFETY ALERT: If you are in danger, please use a safer computer, or call 911, MSP at 994-5959, or the U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 and TTY 1-800-787-3224. There is always a computer trail, but you can leave this site quickly.
What Are the Warning Signs for Domestic Violence?
While disagreements occur in every relationship, normal conflict has nothing to do with control. Abuse involves power and control and a need to dominate another person. It is important to identify the differences between healthy relationships and unhealthy or abusive relationships.
Characteristics of Healthy Relationships
- being able to share and respect each others feelings
- respecting friends and outside activities
- considering the other person's opinions and feelings
- respecting differences in each other
- being able to state differences of opinion
- having an equal say in the relationship
- negotiating solutions that are good for both of you
- respecting privacy of partner
Characteristics of Unhealthy Relationships
- believing one gender has more rights than the other
- shouting or yelling when angry
- Calling or texting repeatedly to keep track of partners whereabouts
- using the "silent treatment"
- Violating privacy of partner
Characteristics of Abusive Relationships
- dominating or controlling partner
- isolating someone from friends or family
- name calling or using put-downs
- breaking objects to intimidate partner
- threatening to cause harm to themselves or someone else
- forcing or coercing sex or sexual touching
- being extremely jealous or possessive (to the point of being controlling using jealousy)
- pushing, hitting, biting, kicking or burning
- restraining or holding another person against their will
- using scare tactics
It is important, if you find yourself in an abusive relationship, to create a safety plan and consider leaving as soon as possible. Usually these relationships do not get better on their own, and you need to keep yourself safe. Abusive relationships, unfortunately, can result in injury and even death. Please contact MSP to discuss a safety plan if you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship.
